I only knew that I had seen perfection face to face, and that the world had become wonderful to my eyes — too wonderful, perhaps, for in such mad worships there is peril, the peril of losing them, no less than the peril of keeping them…
The Picture of Dorian Gray | Oscar Wilde
Relationships always seem to move in the opposite direction that they begin. If you hit it off with someone, you will inevitably find that they disappoint you, at least a little. You'll find that their niceness is counterbalanced with some nastiness, that their skills are not without deficits, and that even their most brilliant traits can become tedious.
No matter how wonderful a person is, they are still human, still flawed, still fallible. Inevitably, they will disappoint you. In fact, the more perfect they seem at the beginning, the more flawed they will seem as the relationship progresses—because they have so much farther to fall in your high esteem. Even if you never cease to like them, even if you ultimately come to admire and respect them all the more, they will never be so perfect in your eyes as in the beginning, when they have no flaws.
However, if you're unimpressed or indifferent to someone, they might grow on you. A poor first impression can be very promising—promising all sorts of surprises you wouldn't dream of anticipating. The person who seems so bland may have a great deal that's hidden—hidden so very well you wouldn't even suspect the tiniest secret, hidden so well they may not suspect anything either. Those are always the most fascinating people and relationships: when you discover and grow together.
Relationships are constantly growing and changing—as are people—but rarely in the way that’s expected. They're so unpredictable, part of life. They make up life. It's not that the starting point doesn't matter—or that the beginning doesn't set a precedent for the future. It's simply that the start might be pointing in a different direction than you imagine—or the beginning is laying the foundation for a different future than you anticipate.
I worshipped you. I grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. I wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with you
Basil Hallward discovers, creates, and destroys Dorian Gray. He idolises his muse, as Gatsby idolised Daisy. The problem with such idolatry is not the damage it does to the adorer so much as the damage is does the to adored. It ruins their humanity. The idol is nothing but an imagined, idealised figure, a piece of perfection no human could ever be. They are stripped of their own humanity and become the property of another's demands and imagination. The person is no longer allowed to be a person
A strange sense of loss came over him. He felt that Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the past. Life had come between them…
People and relationships are so inextricably bound together. People build relationships with one another; relationships develop people. They grow together, people and relationships do. Whether they blossom or decay, they never stagnate. People and relationships create, and sometimes destroy, each other