Lucille – I never care what I do, so I always have a good time
The Great Gatsby ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
I never have liked the notion that you must to 'love yourself' first, but there is some merit behind it. In order to take care of others, you have to be able to take care of yourself. In order to care about others, you have to know what it means to care at all. People who don't care about themselves don't know how to care for others.
Who are you to tell someone what to do or how to live their life when you don't do the same? That's hypocrisy—even if you want the best for someone; even if you want better for them than you do for yourself. You may want what's best for someone, but who are you to demand it of them when you don't hold yourself to the same standard? Wanting the best for someone means also wanting the best from them, which is a tremendous degree to be held to. To be one's best is a good thing, but it's also very trying.
Jordan – I am careful.
Nick – No, you’re not.
Jordan – Well, other people are
The problem with 'love yourself' is that really the fundamental concept but it's misinterpretation. People will use it as an excuse and pervert the notion of love by mistaking it as indulgence. They interpret the phrase to really mean 'indulge yourself.' That's not a form of love, care, or affection at all; it's quite the opposite as every good parent knows.
When one is perfectly willing to self-destruct, one always damages those around them as well, whether it's intentional or not. Sometimes the harm is done simply by setting a bad example, even when you don't realise you're being watched. You can harm people you don't even know in ways you can't even imagine.
You'll never know that someone who saw you laughing when you were high and then did the same thing because they thought it would be fun. They thought you were having fun. They didn't know you wouldn't remember the trip when you came down from it or that they would become addicted when they tried it. They didn't know they were entering into an addiction that would destroy them. And you didn't know either because you were too careless to notice.
Jordan – It takes two to make an accident.
Nick – Suppose you met somebody just as careless as yourself.
Jordan – I hope I never will. I hate careless people
Funny how we tend to hate the people who are just like us. We usually like people who are similar to us, whom we share interests and experiences and preferences with. But we don't like people who are too like us. We don't like people who remind us of what we dislike about ourselves
They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made
Photo by Maxime Gauthier on Unsplash