You are interested in some things and not in others. You can shape that interest, but there are limits. Some activities will always engage you, and others simply with not
You have a nature. You can play the tyrant to it, but you will certainly rebel. How hard can you force yourself to work and sustain your desire to work? How much can you sacrifice to your partner before generosity turns to resentment? What is it that you actually love? What is it that you genuinely want? Before you can articulate your own standards of value, you must see yourself as a stranger—and then you must get to know yourself
12 Rules for Life ~ Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
For the longest time, I struggled with what I wanted versus what I thought I should want. I truly had trouble discerning whether or not I was feeling a true, personal emotion or only what I thought I should feel.
The question isn't even if we're doing something wrong. It's if we're doing something right. It's not bad to learn a new skill or a new subject. In a perfect world, with unlimited time and resources, I probably wouldn't question it. But we do have limitations, we have to make choices, and I want to make the right one. So I agonise over decisions.
We always encounter the world in a state of insufficiency and seek its correction. We can imagine new ways that things could be set right, and improved, even if we have everything we thought we needed. Even when satisfied, temporarily, we remain curious. We live within a framework that defines the present as eternally lacking and the future as eternally better. If we did not see things this way, we would not act at all. We wouldn't even be able to see, because to see we must focus, and to focus we must pick up one thing above all else on which to focus
Do I really want to learn this subject because I'm actually interested in it? Or is it because I feel like I should be? Do I really want to develop that skill because I find it useful and enjoyable? Or do I just feel like I'm supposed to, and it's a good thing to do?
Even once I've gotten started, the questions continue. Is this annoying thing just part of the bad that I have to take with the good? Or is this a sign that I'm on the wrong track, pursuing the wrong thing?
When you're young, you're usually told you can do anything, be anything. But when you grow up, you realise that's false. Hard work and wishful thinking can take you a long way, but they'll still only get you so far. We can't have everything, so we have to figure out our priorities and what's realistic.
We're often wrong about what we think we want and what we think will make us happy. It's not even about pleasing others; it's about knowing ourselves. Sometimes we have to step outside of ourselves to see what's inside. Instead of just focusing on what we want, we should dig a little deeper and understand those wants, where they come from and what they're expecting.
For the longest time, I struggled with what I wanted versus what I thought I should want, and I still do today. The struggle isn't over, but it's really not such a struggle anymore. Instead of fighting myself, I'm finding myself
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